


Like A Picture

by mhunter10



Series: Call Me Private Gallagher [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:56:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhunter10/pseuds/mhunter10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~ week 3- Ian is hungover from a night of drinking that brought up some "bad" memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like A Picture

I think if I had drank any more than I did last night, I wouldn’t be nearly this coherent or even awake.

Man, I feel rough, but I’m glad we’ve got a break. The monotony was starting to get to me already, and we’re not even close to being done. I practically needed a horn blaring in my ear like usual to even get up and shower this morning. Breakfast was out of the question. I’m not looking forward to having to clean the bathroom, because some of the guys partied a little harder than I did. It sure was great to finally let off some steam around here, though, and we definitely got a little wild. I might have seen a little more than I wanted from one of our lady cadets, but I didn’t mind too much when some of the guys decided to play strip pong. I didn’t even know that existed until last night, but you can bet I’ll suggest it more often.

Thank God my mind wasn’t on making an entry, or I probably would have said some pretty stupid shit. Unfortunately that meant my mind was too addled from the alcohol to keep me from thinking about…him. Now I know why they say drinking is bad for you. I’m surprised Frank isn’t dead yet.

Mickey Milkovich. Haven’t thought of that name in weeks, but suddenly it’s like everything came flooding back. It’s weird how that happens. When you think you don’t ever want to think of someone again, and you try so hard to keep it that way…and yet, there they are. Gotta say I’m thankful I don’t have some picture to stare at, or even burn dramatically, but that doesn’t mean his face isn’t just as clear in my mind. I can see his smile, the way his hair stuck up with not enough gel, his lips…and maybe other things, if I’m honest. It’s hard not to compare when in the showers. But it’s all there in a way a photo can’t do justice, like the ones I swiped of the kids and Lip and Fi. They probably aren’t even that worried about me yet, but I don’t blame them.

But the one image I can’t seem to shake is his face, just before he…the ceremony. Everything just replays in my head like some bad movie I can’t stop watching no matter what I do. One minute we’re running through an alley and I can almost hear him laughing, but then I fall right back into that rec room and I want to just…

Sometimes I like to think I would have hit him, got him back for what he did that day I found out. And yeah, maybe it would have felt fucking awesome to give him a taste of his own medicine, but it just would have made things worse for both of us. Or maybe I was hoping it would have ended up like that very first fight, but he wouldn’t have let that happen again. Not Mickey Milkovich. I wanted to tell him about the recognition I got from the lieutenant, because he might’ve actually cared, or at least enjoyed the irony of calling me a kiss-ass.

Lip was always telling me that I could do better, and to just go out and find somebody else, but where would I be right now if I’d listened? In some new guy’s flat, fucking like we mean something to each other? That could have been fun for about a couple days, but then I’d be right back to pretending I wasn’t thinking about him. Lip would probably know and hit me up side the head for it. Sometimes I swear he’s the dumbest, smart person I know, but I bet he’s balls deep in some girl right now instead of looking at pictures of Mandy on his phone. Although, he’s probably just as hungover.

One of the girls here reminds me of her, only because of how tough she can be one moment and totally sweet the next. Mandy would definitely kick some of these guys in the nuts, but the rest she’d agree were fuckable.

I hate to keep thinking about everyone back home because it gets in the way of what I’m actually supposed to be doing here. I’m on a mission to be the best here, so I can be the best out there where there are bigger things going on than me missing a guy who probably doesn’t miss me…or won’t let himself.

This is already longer than I’d thought it’d be.

Remind me to never get drunk with these fools again.

-Ian


End file.
